“Between stimulus and response there is a space. In that space is our power to choose our response. In our response lies our growth and our freedom.” Viktor E. Frankl
Keeping calm under pressure takes practice
It’s easy to be swept up by emotions if you feel like you’re being unfairly judged or attacked. It hurts, so a natural need for self-preservation arises, and you fight back to protect yourself. Although it may feel right at the time, in hindsight you realize you lost your cool. Here are some good mindfulness techniques that can help you stay in control.
Become Aware Of Your Body
When you’re angry, become aware of your body. Notice how strong emotions give you strong bodily sensations. For example, you may feel a surge of heat in your body and before you know it, you’re shouting or you can start to feel rapid heart palpitations and an adrenaline rush. This reaction is because every emotion has a corresponding feeling in your body, and strong sensations will drive the way you behave. If you aren’t aware of how uncomfortable you feel, you can’t do anything different to change your response.
Don’t Respond Immediately: Make a Gap between Stimulus and Response
Feeling uncomfortable isn’t easy, but one thing that helps is the breath. Several deep breaths can help calm the alarm bells, let you stay focused, and slow down the stream of thoughts and emotions that would cause further reactions. Make a space between how you feel and how you respond. Strong feelings always colour situations by clouding judgment and preventing you from seeing clearly. Give yourself sufficient time to recover, and reflect on how you would like to respond. With hindsight, things always look different. Not being caught in “knee jerk” reactions creates time for reflection. It’s interesting to note that when you’re in a “fight, flight or freeze” response, the primitive part of your brain prevents you from accessing the rational part of your brain. Making a gap between stimulus and response allows you to let go of this survival mechanism, and use the prefrontal cortex, the rational and thinking part. Reflecting is a uniquely human characteristic.
Respond Without Hostility
Waiting before you respond, and then acting without hostility will give you a better chance to get your point across. More importantly, you will act with dignity and respect – two qualities that will serve you well when building and maintaining relationships. Ultimately, these qualities will lay down a foundation of trust. It is powerful to be able to step back and choose your next response.
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