It‘s inevitable that at one time or another you will have to deal with a superior or a colleague you find difficult. It’s stressful; it saps your moral and decreases your motivation. The challenge is what to do? Here are three simple mindful concepts that can help you stay strong.
1. Remember that emotions are contagious
Everyone knows how great it is to be in the company of a positive person. It’s exactly the opposite to have to work on a daily basis with a negative or abrasive individual. Knowing that someone else mood can rub off on you makes them easier to shake off, and helps put your feeling and emotions in perspective. The transmission of moods is not a one-way street. The ability to be positive in the presence of a negative person takes resolve, but remember that you’re mood is contagious too. As simplistic as it may seem, a smile is one of the most contagious emotional signals because they have the remarkable power to make someone smile in return.
2. Understand that the brain has a negative bias
Neuroscientists describe the brain’s tendency to remember negative emotions by how they stick to your mind like Velcro, while positive emotions bounce off like Teflon. This is why you always remember that boss who said something harsh to you. The brain habitually scans for bad news, and then has the tendency to stay focused on that. Since negative thoughts have more impact, more effort and awareness are required to keep these thoughts from recycling in your mind. Staying with positive thoughts is important: consciously choose to move your attention away from the negative toward the positive. It takes longer for a positive experience to register in the mind, somewhere between 8 to 10 seconds. Be fully present to these experiences, you will remember them better, and they will also act as an antidote to negativity.
3. Wish them well
Wishing well may seem strange and counterintuitive, but it can be very effective. If you encounter a negative person, and she affects you, keep positive and wish that person well. In your inner voice, (the voice nobody can hear) you might say to yourself, “may you be happy” or, “I wish you happiness”. Although the difficult person is the recipient of your good wishes, you are the one who is benefiting. With these actions, you are able to rid yourself of the contagious negativity and replace it with your own positivity. With time, this practice cultivates empathy and helps you see a common humanity. Recognize that what may come across as a personal attack, can be an unskillful attempt by that person to deal with his particular challenges, fears, or suffering.
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