I’m passionate about mindfulness. It speaks to me on many levels. It’s practical, requires no investment other than your time and commitment, and if you practice, the rewards are plentiful. One of the best rewards is that you start to connect to what is important to you. You find your values, and having strong values are the stepping-stones to real happiness. One of my favourite quotes is by Louisa May Alcott:
“I’m not afraid of storms, for I am learning how to sail my ship.”
Values are like a ship’s rudder, it keeps you going in the right direction. When people are asked what is important to them, they often state:
- “I want to be calmer, more at peace.”
- “It’s important for me to be happy.”
- “I want to feel more confident.”
- “I want people to like me”
- “I want people to accept me so I can accept myself.”
Although these phrases sound like values, they’re really emotions that feel like values. Feeling happy and confident are more like emotional outcomes, they may or may not happen, depending on what you do. The Mindfulness & Acceptance Workbook for Anxiety (Forsyth, and Eifert, 2011) illustrates this point well:
“You set yourself up for disappointments if you make feeling better, happier, more confident or accepted the reason for your actions. Chances are that you’ll sometimes feel better….but when you do things to feel better, you’re walking on thin ice, because no matter what you do, you won’t always feel good, calm, confident and accepted. Feelings are fickle. They come and go. That’s why they cannot serve as a solid foundation for your actions.”
Values are how you act despite how you feel. You don’t need to justify them. They make you feel solid because you know they’re right. This way, you aren’t easily swayed by other people’s opinions or reactions.
The authors go on to say:
“They’re present (values) despite your emotional weather, much like the stars are forever present even on overcast cloudy evenings. Your values are like the stars in a way. They don’t change overnight, nor do they go away. This is why values provide a more solid foundation for your actions than fleeting feeling ever could”.
For upcoming mindfulness events and workshops please visit http://mindsana.com/workshops/