“What happens to us may not be our fault, but how we think about it is our responsibility”
– William Knaus, pioneer of Cognitive Behavioral Therapy
The act of meditating really helps with the practice of making a space between you and your thoughts. Every time you sit and watch your mind and become aware it has wandered off the breath or any other anchor, you’re creating a space between you and your thoughts. In other words, you’re becoming self- aware. You can use self-awareness in your everyday life to become mindful of your constant stream of thoughts, emotions, and judgments. Just watching the mind without getting wrapped up in your mental activity. In time, what you find is that you can cultivate a different relationship to your thoughts; they come and go just like everything else.
Meditation is a great de-stressor, because you don’t necessarily have to react to everything you think of and you can start to understand that difficult emotions will pass. You want to react when it counts and reserve energy for things that matter. This approach is called discernment, the ability to distinguish when thoughts are useful and when they are not; which thoughts need action and which don’t. In a sense, you start to take responsibility for how you think and in turn, how you respond.
In his book, “Philosophy For Life And Other Dangerous Situations”, Jules Evans cites the great philosopher Epictetus who writes in his Handbook: “Some things are up to us, and others are not.” Evans then goes on to list what is not in your control, which is a surprisingly long list: your body, your reputation, your friends, your co-workers, your boss, your future, and the fact that you’re going to die, to name a few. Of course, you can exert some control over your body or your reputation, but ultimately, many parts are out of your control.
The list of what is in your control is surprisingly short: your beliefs. Evans remarks: “This may seem like a very limited field of control. And yet this small window is the basis for human freedom, autonomy and sovereignty.” So what does “ freedom, autonomy and sovereignty” mean? That you and only you have a choice over what to think and what you believe. Yes, you will still be subject to what life brings you – desires and fears, but chasing them is optional. You can act on them, not act on them, or do something entirely different. Taking responsibility over how you think starts with paying attention to what you think, and then learning to become more discerning. In time, a sense of agency and inner liberation arises, one you could easily call freedom.
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